Monday, August 10, 2009


"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has...sent Me to heal the brokenhearted."
- Luke 4:8

I have been reluctant to even write this post, but I feel that it will help with my grieving.

Until this past weekend, I was expecting a precious bundle of joy. B and I found out that we were expecting around 2 weeks ago, and we have been on cloud nine ever since. I had a feeling that I might be pregnant, and while B was out of town for work, I took a test. I will never, ever forget when I saw that second pink line start to form on the pregnancy test. I was completely and utterly surprised, but it was one of the happiest moments of my life, too!

B and I have been wanting to start a family for some time, but we did not expect to pregnant so easily - or so quickly. So, I was just so elated! We told our parents and close family, and everyone shared in our excitement.

I went to the doctor this past Thursday, and I found out that I was around 4 weeks pregnant - the urine test actually came back negative because I was so early, and then they had to take a blood test - which came back POSITIVE! They gave me my due date - April 18th, and I scheduled an appointment to come back in September. It was finally starting to sink in that we were going to have our very own baby.

That very same night, I started spotting and cramping. I called my doctor, and they said to monitor my bleeding, drink plenty of fluids and stay off my feet. I went back to the doctor this past Monday morning for another blood test to see where my hormone levels were - B and I had hit rock bottom this weekend, so we were prepared for the worst. They called that afternoon to let me know that I did, in fact, miscarry.

My emotions have been all over the place, but we are completely and totally leaning on God. A friend of mine that also had a miscarriage recommended a book to me called "I will hold you in Heaven." It has been a lifesaver to me - every word and scripture that is in this book just absolutely calms my heart. Throughout this experience, B and I have learned that children are an absolute precious gift straight from God. I know that God is going to bless us with children - in His time.

We would appreciate any prayers - we have totally felt our family and friends covering us in prayer during our sorrow. If any of you who read this blog have dealt with miscarriage, I would love to hear your story, too! My friend that I mentioned above said something to me that made perfect sense, "Our babies were just too perfect that they went straight to Heaven."

And how beautiful is that????

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward."
-Psalm 127:3