Monday, August 10, 2009


"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has...sent Me to heal the brokenhearted."
- Luke 4:8

I have been reluctant to even write this post, but I feel that it will help with my grieving.

Until this past weekend, I was expecting a precious bundle of joy. B and I found out that we were expecting around 2 weeks ago, and we have been on cloud nine ever since. I had a feeling that I might be pregnant, and while B was out of town for work, I took a test. I will never, ever forget when I saw that second pink line start to form on the pregnancy test. I was completely and utterly surprised, but it was one of the happiest moments of my life, too!

B and I have been wanting to start a family for some time, but we did not expect to pregnant so easily - or so quickly. So, I was just so elated! We told our parents and close family, and everyone shared in our excitement.

I went to the doctor this past Thursday, and I found out that I was around 4 weeks pregnant - the urine test actually came back negative because I was so early, and then they had to take a blood test - which came back POSITIVE! They gave me my due date - April 18th, and I scheduled an appointment to come back in September. It was finally starting to sink in that we were going to have our very own baby.

That very same night, I started spotting and cramping. I called my doctor, and they said to monitor my bleeding, drink plenty of fluids and stay off my feet. I went back to the doctor this past Monday morning for another blood test to see where my hormone levels were - B and I had hit rock bottom this weekend, so we were prepared for the worst. They called that afternoon to let me know that I did, in fact, miscarry.

My emotions have been all over the place, but we are completely and totally leaning on God. A friend of mine that also had a miscarriage recommended a book to me called "I will hold you in Heaven." It has been a lifesaver to me - every word and scripture that is in this book just absolutely calms my heart. Throughout this experience, B and I have learned that children are an absolute precious gift straight from God. I know that God is going to bless us with children - in His time.

We would appreciate any prayers - we have totally felt our family and friends covering us in prayer during our sorrow. If any of you who read this blog have dealt with miscarriage, I would love to hear your story, too! My friend that I mentioned above said something to me that made perfect sense, "Our babies were just too perfect that they went straight to Heaven."

And how beautiful is that????

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward."
-Psalm 127:3


  1. Sweet girl, I am so sorry to hear about this. You are definitely in my prayers!

  2. I am so very sorry! I am praying for you and your husband!

  3. I really am so very sorry! I have been praying for you and B this week. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

  4. Lena, I am so sorry. So, so sorry. I haven't experienced this, but I remember when my mom did when I was younger, and I remember her reading that very same book.

    God's timing is perfect. His will is perfect. He knows exactly when you are supposed to be a mom, and He'll protect you until that time comes.

    I will be praying for you. My friend Amanda has experienced this, and is going through fertility treatments right now. Her blog is
    She is also a nurse in Chattanooga, so she could answer any medical questions you might have, too.

  5. I'm sorry just doesn't seem like enough to say. Just want you both to know that we are here for you, whether you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to yell at, or just someone to talk to. God's plans don't always seem to make sense at the time, but one day it will. For now, just know that you have tons of family and friends that love you and you have a little extra someone looking down on you and watching you. Please let us know if we can do anything at all.
    Love ya girl (and B too) :)
    Emily and Ben

  6. Lena, my heart aches for you. The only true miscarriage story I have for you is that my mom miscarried pretty far along when she was pregnant with her first child. My parents knew it was a boy and even had a name picked out. It took her several years to get over the loss, as we all grieve in our own time, but she eventually had my older sister. And then she had me. My parents only really wanted 2 kids, so had that baby boy been born, I would not be around. Your sweet little baby was not meant to land on this earth, for some reason or another, but you will have another baby who will flourish and absolutely blossom here. God's plan in so mysterious, yet His timing is perfect-- and it will all happen when everything is ready to happen :) I will be praying for you.

  7. Lena ~ I am so sorry to hear about this. I have never experienced this myself but I have had close friends go through it.

    Keep your eyes toward God and have faith beautiful!

  8. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this! You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.